Nick’s voice rumbled out and over Epi. It sounded close and intimate. He reminded himself that he wasn’t that man anymore and wasn’t going to be that man ever again. He was broken, torn apart and disgusted even himself. Worse, he was shivering in small weak lust over a straight man.  “Yeah.” He straightened a little but pulling his pride and cold distance around himself felt sharp and brittle. Without another word and only a small groan of pain, he managed the last few steps to the level side of the road by the car.

“You up for this?” Nick asked as he held the passenger car door open.

“I’m fine.” Epi lied but he forced himself to get back into the car.

The passenger side door was still open when Nick climbed back behind the wheel. Epi hadn’t moved, he sat tense with his back several inches from the seat back and his eyes looking straight ahead. “Close the door when you’re ready.”

“I’m fine.” Epi snapped back and to prove it he shut the car door, slid back in the seat and quickly pulled the seat belt over his body.

Nick’s eyes drifted down to where the seatbelt had clicked into place. Epi still held onto it. His hand covered the release button. It left Nick unsure if he was trying to hold the seatbelt in place or prepare to quickly remove it and flee from the car again. Without a word or comment he slowly pulled them back out onto the road.

They drove slowly but still every curve or small rise to the road made Epi’s breath startle. Nick was careful, he stayed at a reasonable speed, slowed down early for turns, drove with great car to have nothing be sudden or jarring and still Epi sat wide eyed and frightened. He pulled into their lane carefully but still the rocking motion of going from paved road to gravel drew a small unhappy sound close to a gasp from Epi.

“Back home.” He said when the car had been parked but Epi continued to clutch at his seatbelt.

It took a second for Epi to find his voice but when he did it was steadier than he expected. “Tori told you I might flip out in the car.”

He jangled the keys in his hand a little. “Yeah.”

“We…” Epi drew a breath but if he didn’t say it he thought his head might explode. “We went off the road, hit a tree down an embankment. It was a little after eight at night and no one found us until after six the next morning. Even after that they took almost four hours to get me out. I…they had to bring a surgeon in… and…Jesus I don’t normally talk about this.”

“They brought in a surgeon?” Nick questioned carefully, unsure if Epi wanted to be asked or not.

“He cut my leg off right there. I was awake, well as awake as I could be with morphine and shock. I remember it though. I kept telling them they were making a mistake that I could move my toes and one of the medics had to tell me that it was impossible. That my toes on that foot were gone.” He groaned a little and ran his hands over his face. “I just still have trouble with cars.”

“Understandably.”

Epi glanced over and saw nothing of sympathy or pity in the steady face beside him. “I’m tired. I’m going to go in and take a nap. Fucking rehab wears me out.”

“Okay. I’ll be over later to take care of the cats.”

All he could muster was a nod. By the time he had his seatbelt off and the door open Nick had gotten his crutches from the back seat and had them waiting. “Thank you.”

“You going to make it?”

“I’m fine.” Epi answered and started his long walk back into the house.

 

It was close to dark when a car rolled up the gravel lane and Epi, nosy and restless, went to the back windows to see who it was. It wasn’t a car he knew and the man that climbed out of the front seat wasn’t a face he’d seen before. He was handsome, in a go Army, football, straight boy kind of way and he hurried around the front of the car to open the side door. In one hand he juggled a pizza box and in the other he hefted a case of beer.

Nick’s apartment door opened and he grinned at the sight. “Hey.” He called out as he started down his stairs.

The new arrival held the food and beer out on open arms. “Who loves you?”

That made Nick chuckle and say something Epi couldn’t hear but he waved to his apartment and the other man nodded and went to go up. Nick didn’t pause, he started toward the house with long confident steps. Epi hurried to moved from the window, not wanting to really be caught spying like some gossipy old man.

As he always did, Nick knocked on the screen door before he opened it. “Hey!” He shouted and movement in the kitchen caught his eye. “Oh, didn’t see you. Just coming in to feed the cats.” Delmar had come running at hearing his voice and now sat in the door way like he didn’t care.

“You’ve plans?” Epi asked casually as he pretended to look over a yogurt for an expiration date.

“Yeah, just a friend.” He scooped the big cat up. “I’ll be gone in a second.”

It wasn’t a lie. Nick often lingered after taking care of the cats to make sure Epi didn’t need something or, sometimes, just to linger but tonight he hurried to do what he had to and quickly finished. “See you tomorrow.”

“Hm.” Epi grunted back as Nick hurried out. He watched from the window as the other man darted across the yard and took his steps two at a time. “Show off.”

 

“Tori still coming up today?” Nick asked as he placed the now refilled water bowl back on the kitchen floor. Epi had been unusually silent as he moved about and checked on the cats.

“Yeah, he said he should be here in time to take me to rehab so you won’t have to.”

He nodded. “Well, if he’s late, call and I’ll run you in.”

“Nick…”

“Yeah?”

“Never mind.”

“What?”

Epi sighed. “I was going to ask, if you’re not busy, if you’d help me put some books on the shelves. Tori’s going to bitch me out for not being more unpacked so I thought if I at least got the books done…”

He had work to get done but that could be finished during the afternoon since he wasn’t taking Epi into town. “Sure.” He agreed good naturedly, knowing how difficult it must have been for the other man to ask for help in the first place.

“Thanks, I have a lot of books.”

“You’re putting them in the library?”

“Yeah.” He made his careful way around cats and boxes back into the house, Nick following close behind. “Tori is going to freak when he sees how little I’ve unpacked.”

“It isn’t Tori’s house.”

That made Epi snort and nod his head. “He’ll view it as a sign that I’m not taking care of myself and go all fussy.” He pushed the library door open and the boxes of books were neatly stacked in the center of the room. His simple desk had been placed against a wall and he’d put together his computer but so far had barely turned it on. “I got some of the books on the lower shelves…”

Nick nodded and reached into the open box, surprised at how well the books were packed and how many had been inside. “You did a good job packing them.”

“Wasn’t me….here these are research they should go up there because I don’t use those that often… Tori packed everything up, or had someone pack it up. I was still in a medically induced coma at the time and isn’t that a thing to say. Gee Epi, why’d you miss the class reunion? Well, Biff I was in a medically induced coma, better than a fucking vacation.”

He chuckled and slipped the books onto their shelf. “Should market that to workaholics.”

“Can’t get away from your office? Can’t stand to leave your crackberry turned off? Try a medically induced coma today!” Epi snorted and hauled out another handful of books but Nick took them from him and stretched to place them on the high shelf.

“Just sit down and tell me where to put them. This isn’t hard. Jacob Miller? The man that built this house, he left most of his books in here when Aunt Minnie and Uncle Jonas bought the place. She used it as a sewing room. I kept some of the books, the older or more unusual ones but the rest got sold at the sale. It’ll be odd seeing new ones on the shelves.”

“Must be odd for you to see someone else here, repainting and pulling up carpet…”

Nick shrugged. “Did you want me to replace those cracked windows before it gets chilly?”

“You can do that?”

“Not hard.”  He opened a new box and it seemed to be fiction, he held a handful up.

“That shelf there and it seems like it would be hard.”

“With those panes? Easy to do.”

Epi found himself watching as Nick bent down to pick books from boxes and stretch up to put them on shelves. His shirt bunched around his arms, rode up a little at his waist to flash little bits of skin. It hadn’t been his intention to treat the other man as eye candy but he was.

“Well, if it wouldn’t be difficult….”

“I don’t mind. I like fixing things up. Aunt Minnie didn’t let me do much, didn’t want to admit she needed the help.”

Epi just nodded and let silence settle around them. Nick made amazing progress through the books. What would have taken him forever to do he just plowed through. It was another reminder of how much balance and stability Epi had lost, bending over, stretching up, repeating the motion over and over would have made him fall. All too soon they were down to one box.

“You can leave that one.”

“It’s no bother.”

“Really, it’s okay, I’m thinking of keeping those boxed up.”

“Why?” Nick pulled the box open.

“Don’t!” Epi protested but it was too late. “Damn it, I don’t want to see those.”

“Why not, you wrote them.” He turned a copy of the Long Fall in Spanish over in his hands. “You should display them.”

“You knew?”

“That you’re a writer?”

Epi nodded.

“I looked your name up.”

“Was a writer.”  Without being asked, Nick was unloading that last box onto it’s own shelf. “I used to like to get a copy of each version as it came into print. Just feels like they’re mocking me now.”

“You’ll write again when you’re ready. What’s the S stand for?”

“What?”

He held a cover up. “By S. Epitome Whitmore, what’s the S for?”

“The S is for my parents were high when they named me and it’s bad because I prefer a name like Epitome over my first name.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“No it is, and worse.”

“Tori will tell me.”

“He will not!”

“What do your parents call you?”

“Epi.”

“What do they call you when they’re mad at you?”

“They don’t believe in being angry with children.”

“Huh, wish my folks had thought that. Would have saved me a world of grief. There, all done.” He glanced around the room and started breaking down boxes. “Will it be enough?”

“I hope so. He’s already thinking I’ve half lost my mind because of the cats.”

“I can take them while he’s visiting if you like.”

“No, it’s fine. Delmar wouldn’t forgive either of us if he’s denied his sunny windowsill.”  He straightened the crutches a little. “Thanks, for helping me get the rest of them up.”

“Welcome. I’m going out, doubt I’ll be back tonight.”

Epi raised his eyebrows. “Hot date?”

“Just a friend.”

“Well, have fun in any case.”

“I will, say hello to Tori for me, tell him, see I didn’t break you since he left.”

“I’m not that fragile.”

Nick just grinned.

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