The cats added an interesting element to the house. They settled in with far more ease than Epi. After a good sniffing around at Epi, his furniture and boxes, they seemed to go back to their favorite spots. There was quickly cats sleeping on his sofa, their cat trees and windowsills. When he ate dinner in front of the tv several of cats came around to sit near him and Delmar begged for food with sad sounding mews. Epi just frowned at the gray fluffball and keep his attention on the news.

He hauled himself upstairs sooner than later, sore and tired. Of all his boxes of books he’d opened only one, and had found his copy of Lady Chatterley’s Lover. It had been ages since he’d actually read it and for some reason thinking about Clifford returning from war bound to a wheelchair and unable to satisfy his wife seemed to suit his mood. It made him want to take the poor fellow out for a drink and share bitterness and misery.

Instead he settled for climbing his slow way upstairs to curl up on his bed and read. He hobbled with a wince into his bedroom. His secondary wheelchair, the one that was a little heavier and bulkier, was upstairs and tonight he was going to be lazy. The bed creaked as he sat down on the edge and undid his pants. He laid down on the bed and wiggled out of them only to sit up in his underwear to see a cat staring at him.

It was the calico, Rum, and she was watching him. “What’re you looking at?”

She meowed at him and looked cute.

Epi snorted and quickly got the knee brace off his right leg. It got placed on the night stand with the wrist brace when he pried that off too. He was supposed to sleep with it on but he liked a few hours with it off while he read. It still ached badly and he sighed as he rubbed it.

The cat was still watching him.

“Look out kitty, I’m going to really fall apart now.” He was getting good at getting the leg off and it still surprised him how much lighter his leg felt with it removed. The doctors had told him time and again that the artificial leg was quite a bit lighter than his real leg they’d removed but it didn’t feel that way. He hated how the fake leg looked, sitting with it’s fake foot in it’s normal shoe against his nightstand.

“Horrible isn’t it?”

Rum agreed with a mew.

“That’s what I thought too.” He slipped off the cotton stump socks and put them aside to be able to unroll the silicone liner. It was becoming routine but as he wiped the liner down with a baby wipe the sight of his leg still shocked and disgusted him. “Gah.” He complained as he wiped the stump down with a baby wipe too. “Fucking thing.” Some days, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to touch it and just seeing the smaller end to his leg and the lack of flesh and foot made his stomach clench up and his chest hurt. “blah.”

Epi moved from the bed into the wheelchair with a sigh, his leg and wrist sore, his hips hurting, his back aching. A year ago such pains would have had him complaining but he was used to them now. He wheeled himself out of the room and down to the bathroom where he brushed his teeth and got ready for bed. As he wheeled back to his room an orange cat ran full speed down the hall to one of the empty rooms he wasn’t sure what he was going to do with.

“Psycho.” Rum was still sitting in the bedroom when he came back. She looked at him, he looked at her and Epi shook his head. “Stupid cats. I hate pets, you know that right?”

She meowed agreement.

“So long as that’s clear.” He groaned as he dragged himself back onto the bed. Ungracefully, he flopped down on his side of the bed and dragged the book along with him. He was barely a few lines into it before Rum joined him and meowed at him some more. “What?” He questioned but she just mewed back at him. “Stupid cat.” He repeated but she didn’t hold it against him. Instead she stepped on him until she could curl up tight against him to purr softly as he read.

It didn’t take long to shut the book and put it on the nightstand. “I forgot my glasses downstairs.” He sighed to the cat who just mew talked back at him. “Last thing I need is a pounding headache to go with everything else that hurts.” Epi complained as he flicked out the light. “Shoo now, I’m going to sleep.”

Rolling over and flapping the blankets a little did little to scare off the cat. At best, his efforts made the fuzzy creature move to curl up around his foot. He sighed as the warm little body curled against him again. “Fine, whatever, no puking up a hairball on the bed.” It took some more wiggling to get into a position that didn’t make everything hurt. Once that spot was found, he soon fell asleep.

Epi woke up the next morning warm and snuggled in bed. Little lumpy bodies were pressed against him and when he opened his eyes large green ones lazily met his own. He mumbled sleepily and Delmar yawned, showing off an impressive amount of sharp pointy teeth. Cautiously, he lifted his head and saw not one or two feline bodies but all six curled up and sprawled out on the bed. Even Pumpkin and Sammy were curled up on the bed if not confident enough to actually sleep against him. It would have been cute if he could swear they weren’t conducting surveillance missions while plotting his destruction. He flopped back down on his pillow and Delmar promptly came over and licked the tip of his nose while purring happily. That set off a few small meows and more purring from different parts of the bed even after Epi pushed the cat away from his face.

“Cats. What the hell am I doing?”

 

 

“Have I mentioned I hate rehab?” Epi complained as he dragged himself back into Nick’s car.

“Only every time we go.” He put the forearm crutches in the backseat and moved around to the driver’s side.

“Well it remains true.” It was Wednesday and he’d been in his new house with his new therapy people for over a week. So far he hadn’t fallen down the steps or tripped over a cat and Nick showed no signs of regretting his agreement no matter how much he bitched. “Tori will be up next Friday. Told him not to come but he doesn’t listen.”

“He’s worried about you.”

“Hm.” He set his head back against the seat and shut his eyes as the car started to move.

They were out of the town and on to back roads that rolled around the softly mounded foothills and in and out of shadow and light as they passed trees and cornfields before Nick spoke. “I might have found someone to take a couple of the cats.”

“Oh.” Epi opened his eyes and glanced over but Nick was keeping an eye on the road. He had almost forgotten that Nick was trying to find homes for his unexpected houseguests. “But not all of them?”

“They don’t have space for all of them. I’ve called the no-kill shelter but they’re full up but for emergencies.”

“Thought you didn’t want to split them up?”

Nick shrugged. “Split them up or have them go to a kill shelter?”

“Huh.” Epi wondered which of the two would be taken and found even the thought of the shy Sammy and the skittish Pumpkin not being in the house felt odd. “Well…they’re really no bother to me. It’s not like I’m taking care of them, you’re doing that and people come in and vacuum for me. I don’t see why it’s a rush to split them up.”

They drove on in silence for a distance. “Won’t be easy to find someone to take all of them.”

“I know.”

“You might be stuck with them for a while.”

Epi shrugged. There was no way he was going to admit it but it was nice to have something else alive in the house. He liked waking up to other warm bodies in bed with him. Most of all he wasn’t going to admit that he liked the fact that the cats made Nick come into the house everyday even if only for a short time. As much as he was enjoying his solitude, the house felt horribly empty.

Before he could think of how to say he didn’t mind of the cats had to stay longer, movement on the side of the road caught his eye. From the far bank something brown and long legged moved and before Epi’s mind had a chance to understand what he was seeing, Nick was slamming on the brakes. The car skidded a little and they lurched forward as Nick steered them a bit toward the shoulder. The slender deer stood on the yellow lines, spooked and unsure which way to go but Nick’s driving and care saw to it they were safely away from the beautiful animal. With a few long leaps the animal finished crossing the road in front of them and was quickly followed by two more deer that darted across the road.

“Look, there’s a bunch more down in the field. We caught the end of the herd.” Nick pointed out Epi’s window. Epi didn’t turn to look out the window and when Nick glanced from the deer to the man he understood why. The slender fingers were clawed into the armrests of the car, he was white as a ghost, eyes too wide and breathing too hard. “Hey, you okay?”

Epi didn’t even blink.

“No harm done, been avoiding hitting deer my whole life.” Again, Epi didn’t even move but his breathing was growing shorter, more desperate. “Let’s get home.”

Nick put the car in gear and started to roll slowly forward to get them off of the wide shoulder. They only made it an inch before Epi went from non-responsive to very much responsive.

“No! NO!” He shouted and clawed at his seatbelt but it wasn’t clear to Nick if he was trying to put it on or take it off. “NO! God stop the car! STOP IT!” Epi screamed.

The frantic cries and clawing panicked motions startled Nick more than the deer had. He eased the car as far off the road as far as he could and put it in park. Almost before the car was stopped Epi was pulling his door open and falling out of the car.

“Shit.” Nick hissed as he saw Epi try to stand and instantly fall hard to the ground. He put the four ways on and turned the engine off as fast as he could and quickly climbed out of the car. When he rounded the hood, Epi wasn’t on the ground by the open car door but had fallen down the low bank to where the fallow field started.

He approached the other man carefully since he’d never seen anyone so frightened before in his life. Epi had obviously fallen down the low bank, his clothes were grass stained and his skin was scratched up but he had half sat up when he landed. His fingers dug into the solid and very much unmoving ground but his eyes continued to stare off at nothing while he struggled to breathe.

“I have one of your anxiety pills, do you want it?” Nick dug the small pill from his pocket.

Epi managed to nod agreement but it took a force of will to let go of the grass below him. The pill was tiny in his hand but it was effective and he had grown to count on that.

“I don’t have any water.”

He didn’t need water. Epi tossed the small pill into his mouth and swallowed it dry. He was having trouble breathing but was struggling for control. He hated that this was happening where Nick could see but he just couldn’t stop.

“Just…just need a minute.”

“Take your time.” Nick answered steadily. “Nice day to sit out by a field anyway.”

The causal tone that made it sound like their sitting on the side of the road was some planned outing made Epi laugh in panicked mockery. “I try. God…I can’t breathe…I…I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.”

They sat together on the side of the road for a good fifteen minutes while Epi struggled to breathe and calm down. Nick picked at grass strands and occasionally pointed out different birds that flew over, identifying them in a steady voice as a hawk or swallow but otherwise staying silent. Finally Epi drew one long slow breath and let go of the grass.

“Okay. We can go but you’re going to have to go slow…I…”

“It’s okay.” Nick nodded. “You hurt?”

His hands were dirty and scratched up. “No.” They were shaking too, badly so and the idea of getting up and getting back into the car terrified him. “I don’t know how I’ll make it back up this bank. It’s easier to fall down things than go up them.” He was going to be bruised, he could already feel the tender spots on his shoulder and hip from where he’d first landed.

“Well.” Nick stood up and offered a hand to help Epi get to his feet. The hand that slipped into his own was cold and shaking so he bent down and got his other hand under that arm’s elbow. With a good tug and Epi pushing off from the ground they got the other man standing. “It’s like four feet. Worst case I just pick you up and haul you up there.”

“Why not, isn’t like I have any dignity left.”

“Let’s try this first.” Nick moved to stand behind Epi, one hand under the man’s elbow and one on his waist. “I won’t let you fall.”

Epi almost snapped back that Nick was insane. The few feet of incline on an unstable surface was laughably easy for someone with two good legs to navigate but it may as well have been a vertical climb for Epi. He had neither the balance nor the skill to manage it even with the crutches and it was crazy to think he could go up it on his feet with a little help. The only reason he didn’t snap something sarcastic was because he knew he couldn’t have it both ways. He couldn’t bitch about not having any dignity left when he was unwilling to try to reclaim some.

“Okay.” He nodded and felt too exhausted from panic and fear and too drugged from the pill to really be sure he could make it. “Okay.” Carefully, Epi took the first very small step. With a wince and Nick’s steadying hands he climbed upward an inch. It took a lot of focus but he managed another step and another inch.

When he was nearly to the top Epi slipped. His feet darted backward and he felt himself falling forward. Part of his mind braced to hit the ground again but he didn’t fall. A strong hand clamped over his left upper arm and another one slipped around his waist. Instead of falling hard he only slipped a few inches before being steadied and righted. He shook from the effort of staying on his feet and the struggle to find his balance as Nick stepped closer and braced him with his own strength.

Epi had long since gotten used to other people moving his body, working his limbs, poking at wounds, doing far less dignified things to him. He had slipped into the mindset of acceptance that anyone chronically ill or long term injured has to have where being supported and hauled about like a child meant little. It was just another example of all he’d lost in such a short time and normally he barely even noticed it.

Not noticing was about a million miles from where Epi found himself. His feet slipped again and this time his back thumped into Nick’s chest. He became far too aware of the contact. Nick’s hand on his arm was supportive without being painful, the arm around his waist could have been very clinical but it was still a strong, masculine arm around his waist. The chest he leaned against was strong and the shoulders were broad. The scent of Nick’s very simple and very much non-designer cologne combined with his shampoo and just the scent of clean, vital male and made Epi’s head spin.

He’d been celibate from misery and pain for a year and had forgotten in some corner of his mind how good another man could feel pressed to his body. It didn’t matter that Nick was his caretaker and straight, he was very much male. Epi wanted to curl up against that strength and let it carry him the final few small steps like some damsel in distress. He suddenly wanted to turn and cling to the strong shoulders and just hold on. It wasn’t just about the sexual thrill of being held so close for the first time in so long. It ran deeper and he craved physical contact like he’d had before, back when he was normal.

“You okay?”

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