Val spent the next day trying to stay busy so he didn’t have to think. He went for a long bike ride until his ears were frozen and the cold air chilled his lungs. He lingered for hours shelving his books and pulling them to re-shelve them. He cleaned his apartment and sorted his laundry and still, by the time evening rolled in, he was left alone.

With nothing left to do, he dropped himself down onto his sofa and flipped on the news. He’d just settled into to the daily dose of bad reporting when his doorbell rang. Val sighed, and hauled himself to his feet. No one every rang his bell unless it was a delivery and while he wasn’t expecting anything, he didn’t put anything past Lisa.

Only, when he pulled the door open, Gavan stood there with a wide grin on his face. “Hey!”

“Hello.”

“You weren’t at the bar.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“It’s Tuesday, you’re always there on Tuesdays. Evan, the cute college kid bar tender, he asked about you.”

Val hadn’t thought he’d been so regular with his habits to have anyone miss him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, well, the games on and since you didn’t come down to the bar, I brought the bar to you.” He pulled a brown bag and a six pack of Irish red beer in amber colored bottles from behind his back.

“What?”
“Have you eaten yet? Trist as a client, he’s touchy about who might over hear so it’s better if I stay out of the way. You don’t mind do you?” Gavan raised his eyebrows.

Val stood stunned for a moment before he managed to step out of the way. “Come in, sorry, been out of sorts today.”

Gavan smiled wider and didn’t wait for another invitation. “I brought sandwiches.” He moved into the kitchen and rooted around until he found plates. “You weren’t watching the game?”

“I forgot it was on.” Which was a lie, he couldn’t watch basketball without thinking about Matt. That was something he didn’t need tonight.

The sandwiches unwrapped and Gavan knew something was going on. Both men were sullen, withdrawn and almost depressed, if it wasn’t because they’d fought while he was away, the cause was somewhere more personal. He twisted the tops off of a couple of the beers, stashed the remaining four into the fridge and took beers and sandwiches into the living room.

Val flipped the game on and accepted the plate pushed at him. “Thanks, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do tonight for dinner.” He hovered for a moment, uncertain, wanting his solitude but hating it at the same time.

“I hate eating alone, wow, they’re getting slaughtered!”

The balance tipped and a small smile touched Val’s mouth. “Well, they suck this year, a group of midgets would do a better job.”

They drank the beers, ate the sandwiches and groaned at the one sided game. It became more then that to Val, it was proof that maybe admitting he was gay really didn’t change anything else. His life didn’t feel any different, even if he wasn’t actually gay but just, maybe, attracted to certain men. It didn’t change who he was, not really. The game was still fun, the sandwich was still soggy but good and the beer just as refreshing. By the time the game ended, Val was pretty sure nothing in his life would really be different if he was gay.

“Man, they shouldn’t have even bothered to show up!” Gavan sighed and downed another long swallow from his beer bottle.

“Well, if Andrews hadn’t torn his tendon or whatever they’d be stronger. They’re just counting on his three points too much.”

Gavan nodded. “Stupid.”

“Thanks.” Val forced out.

He looked over his beer bottle. “For what?”

Val shrugged. “The sandwiches, the beer, for stopping in. I don’t have many friends, certainly none that would just pop in for a game. This was nice.”

“Well, I’m being purely selfish. You’re the first person ever to not only be able to deal with Trist, to enjoy his company and, most shocking, someone he liked being around. That must make you pretty good in my book.” He rolled the bottle around in his hands. “Besides, it’s not like I’ve been beating friends away with a stick. Trist and I both are pretty isolated. And, well, you’re fun to hang out with.”

“Can I ask you a favor?” Val started slowly, not sure he’d be able to actually ask and half hoping Gavan would refuse.

“Of course, if I can you know I will.”

Val felt his face start to go red. “It’s okay to say no, I mean, if you don’t mind, I was wondering, could you kiss me?”

Gavan nearly inhaled his swallow of beer. He choked and coughed and slowly got the beer to go down the right tube. “What?”

“Never mind.” Val felt his face burning up and knew he must be blushing bright red.

“No, uh huh, no way you can ask that and tell me never mind. I did hear you right, didn’t I?” The sports casters on the television sounded a million miles away.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I just,” Val sighed. “Trist and I… and Lisa says I should stop running and I’m not sure of anything right now and I wanted to see if… well…”

Gavan very carefully set his mostly empty bottle of beer down. “Trist has a way of making people face what they’re hiding from.”

That was a cold thought. Was their night together just some twisted means of Trist’s to get Val to accept a truth he’d been running from? Oddly, the idea that their lovemaking meant only that to the slender man, shoved a small spike of pain into his chest.

“Okay.” Gavan nodded. “I doubt Wally will throw a fit, even if he finds out. Unless you’ve changed your mind?”

Val shook his head numbly. “No, I want to see something.”

Gavan slid across the couch to sit closer to Val and dared to reach up and brush some of the sloppy hair back. “God, the sacrifices I make for science.” He grinned and leaned in, half expecting Val to pull away at the last moment.

Val didn’t, Gavan’s lips brushed against his and he melted. The idea of a chaste, soft contact dissolved and his lips parted. Only, the kiss was different then with Trist, this time he was on equal footing with Gavan. If he wasn’t so shy, there was no doubt the kiss would be one of equals, unlike the consuming, commanding passion Trist and spilled into his veins from where their lips met.

He moaned and Gavan’s other hand came up to cup the other side of his face. The kiss deepened, their bodies slid closer together. Somehow, Val found himself being lowered to the sofa, Gavan’s weight pressing down on him and it felt really good. It didn’t burn him alive like it had with Trist but there was no doubt his body responded to kissing a man far more then it ever did kissing a woman.

“Oh, God.” Val sighed as Gavan kissed across his face, down to his neck. Their bodies twisted together, Gavan’s leg slid between his own and it felt good. Val was starting to think that not only was he gay, but he might very well be a slut. All Gavan had to do was tell him to strip, tell him he was going to fuck him, and Val would let him.

Gavan sighed and tucked his face along Val’s neck. “Oh, God, is right. Is this the something you wanted to see about?” He brushed a hand lightly across the obvious aroused bulge in Val’s pants.

Val arched up to the touch and his eyes squeezed shut. “Yes.”

“I have a boyfriend.” Gavan reminded himself. He’d been assuming that Val and Trist had maybe kissed a little but that Val was too dominate, too much a top and Trist’s sulking today was because of that. Now, seeing how easily Val melted and wanted to be topped, he had to rethink about just what might have happened between them.

“I shouldn’t have asked.” Val forced the words out but noticed that he wasn’t pushing Gavan off and the other man was making no movement to crawl off of him.

“No, I guess this answers your question?” Val smelled good, and he looked totally different when turned on. Gavan reminded himself that Wally would forgive an experimental kiss but not an experimental fuck.

He forced himself to crawl off of Val, to slid away, remove his leg from where it nested between Val’s. It was a force of will and when he glanced over to where Val lay sprawled, legs spread, lips parted, eyes shut and obviously aroused, his will almost broke. “Damn, I’ve a boyfriend.” He reminded himself again.

Val slowly pulled himself back to a sitting position from his sprawled out harlot pose. He was still blushing, he could feel the flush on his face. “I’m sorry.”

Gavan slid over and pressed a quick kiss to Val’s forehead before standing and stepping away. “Don’t be, hope it gave you whatever answers you were looking for.”

Val nodded, growing hotter at seeing the slight bulge in Gavan’s pants. He’d done that, he’d made that happen and the idea that anyone found him so attractive made his nerves tingle.

“Well, since I do have a boyfriend and I don’t think you want me to fuck you on a first date,” Gavan teased but his voice shook at the idea of actually being able to fuck Val. “I should get home. See you Thursday? If not sooner?”

Val nodded again, unable to speak. His mind had frozen up and stopped functioning at the idea of Gavan taking him to bed. That was it, he was not only gay, he was a gay slut.

“Night Val!” Gavan tossed out and hurried out the door.

It shut and latched behind him and left Val alone in his empty apartment. He stayed on his sofa but laid back down and let one hand rub at his erection through the fabric of his pants. In his mind he replayed the feel of Gavan kissing him, the feel of his body pressing him down.

It was how similar Gavan smelled like Trist, how similar their bodies felt, that made Val ache and moan. Trist, who just the thought of what they’d done together set him on fire, was so similar to Gavan. In his mind, as he opened his pants and began to stroke himself in earnest, he thought about their kisses, about the feel of their bodies over his own. It was the thought of Trist, the taste of him in his mouth, that wrung moaning cries from him and had him climaxing.

One kiss and Val was jerking off on his sofa like a teenager. That left little doubt, he was gay and a slut and he wanted to be taken again. Consequences be damned, he wanted to be taken, hard, because the meager comforts of his hand no longer were enough.