Val wept for a long time, clinging to Trist like a man lost and unable to simply stop. Even once the tears dried up, he was reluctant to move, to pull away from the sheltering warmth he was hidden against. Even torn apart and ripped bare, there was only so much he could express before everything started to shut down and leave him feeling hollow and cold.

“Thanks.” He whispered as Trist tossed a blanket around his shoulders.

“Your butt has to be falling asleep, hop up on the sofa and I’ll make us some cocoa.” He ran a hand across the mussed up hair and smiled lightly at the swollen nose and red eyes.

Val didn’t question, he just lifted himself up and slid onto the sofa. He pulled the blanket tighter about himself and kept his face lowered. The sofa did feel good, a real, solid comfort when too much of the world felt like pain. He felt tired, worn down, uncertain what to do after such a dramatic display of emotion.

“Here.” Trist held the mug out toward Val and caught the uncertain glance. “Don’t worry, it’s from a mix, even I can nuke cocoa.”

“Thanks.” He muttered again and took the hot drink. He wasn’t a cocoa fan but as he sipped at the heavy sweetness, Val found it to be perfect. “Trist,”

“Don’t, just let it be. Okay?” He blew a floating marshmallow across the surface of his mug, a sugary boat lacking sail or rudder.

Val nodded and huddled over his mug.

“I’ve got this anime, you’ll love it.”

“I don’t like cartoons.”

“It’s not cartoons, it’s anime!” Trist didn’t let Val think, he just popped the dvd in and settled back on the sofa. It was easy to lean against Val and by the time the first episode was over and the cocoa mostly finished, the pair was snuggled tightly.

Val was pleasantly surprised by the depth to the anime and the quality of the art. It was a solid enough distraction from his collapse that he clung to it but it was how Trist felt curled against him that would imprint into his memories something wonderful. It left him a little dazed, a little confused but when the cocoa was gone, he pulled Trist close and held on.

“Let me pop the disk out.” Trist said as he tried to wiggle free, only the arms holding him didn’t let go. He twisted around to glance up at Val. The look on his face was tight and twisted up. “You’re thinking too much.”

“I, Trist, I’m…” Val drew a deep breath and glanced down at the accepting man. “I’m not very good at this.”

Trist wiggled and squirmed and managed to get turned around so he was leaning on Val’s chest, hands draped over his shoulders, faces less then a foot apart. “Good at what?”

Val shook his head. “This, I’ve never been good at any of this.”

“You aren’t making much sense, dear.”

“That!” He sighed. “You’re so easy calling me such affectionate names, you just cuddle against me without thinking, this seems so natural to you! I don’t know how to do that. It scares me.”

He traced his fingers across Val’s face. “Scares me too but you have to enjoy what you have while you have it. Life is too short.”

“I’ve never met anyone like you.”

That made Trist laugh gently. “And you ain’t just whistling Dixie.”

Maybe he should have been offended by Trist’s gentle laughter but he wasn’t, the easy life in the man was one of the things he was drawn to. “I’m not good with my feelings.”

“Which is crazy ass ironic given what you do for a living.”

“I’ve never had trouble understanding other people’s emotions, just my own.”

“We’ll work on it. God knows, everything I feel spills out everywhere.” He smiled gently and traced his fingers across the bridge of Val’s nose before tracing back to tease his hair.

“It’s just, this, I, shit…” Val glanced down, having to hide from the honesty. “This feels nice. I’ve never felt…” He tugged at Trist, pulled him so he was forced to lay full out over his chest. The weight felt good, the face that buried against his neck felt good. Val wrapped his arms around him and held on tightly. “This feels right.”

“To me too baby.”

“I don’t want to let go.”

“Good, cause I’m not going anywhere.” He pressed his palm to Val’s chest and felt how the heart below was thudding rapidly.

“Trist, I think, I mean, I guess I am.”

“Guess you are what?”

Val closed his eyes and waited for the sky to fall. It was time to stop running. “Gay.”

Trist sighed. “I don’t care.”

“What?” The startled shock snapped into his voice. He’d struggled and wrestled and tormented himself for how long and now Trist didn’t care?

“I don’t care. It’s just a name, Val, it’s just a label. So long as you’re willing to lay here like this with me, as long as you let me do horrible, lewdly kinky things to you, I don’t care if you say it or not. If it makes it easier for you, don’t worry about the names.” He was smiling now at the thought of dirty ideas.

“But,” he started slowly. “I am, aren’t I?”

That broke out more gentle laughter. “Oh, yeah, baby, you’re more queer than a three dollar bill.”

“That’s not nice, I’m not…” that was as far as Val made it before his words stuttered off. Trist’s hand was suddenly between his legs, teasing, stroking, taking him from uninterested to hard in a few light touches. “Oh, God.”

Trist smiled as his hand teased. Val’s entire body arched at the simple touch. All the background voices vanished and Trist felt his own body relax. “Val?”
“Hmm?” His head lolled back, his eyes were shut.

“There’s something you should know?”

It was the seriousness of the tone that brought Val back. He forced his body to settle back to the sofa and his eyes open. “Okay.”

“When you’re turned on, and we’re touching?” He shook his head. “You make everything go silent.”

“What?”

“I don’t know how, but you do. It’s not like with Gavan, he can dim things down or turn it off completely but you, it just makes everything silent. I don’t know how you’re able to do it, but you are. No one other than Gav and my aunt have been able to do that.”
“Okay.” It made little sense while Trist was continuing to tease him.

“It’s nice, real nice. I don’t need the extra push to want you turned on.” His fingers nimbly snapped open the buttons on Val’s fly. “It’s just a bonus to have silence in my head and just you to think about.” He nipped a little at the neck so close to his face. “Just thought you should know, in case I flip out or something.”

“In case you flip out, I’m supposed to what?”

Trist chuckled at how Val was trying to focus. “Fuck me.”

“Oh God!” Val arched into the hand that was now inside his pants at the very idea.

“Sex between us, shuts out my voices.” He nipped Val’s ear. “Promise me, you’ll use it to shut me down if I lose it.”

“Trist…”

“Promise me, you’ll use it to keep me sane.”

Val’s mind processed the idea. “You won’t be able to agree.” His breath hissed as Trist tightened his grip. How was he supposed to think with Trist’s hand wrapped around his cock?

“Please, Val, please, promise me you will. I’m agreeing now, you won’t be taking advantage, you’ll be saving me. Please, promise me.” He whispered against Val. He wouldn’t be able to relax until he’d wrung out the promise.

“I promise.” Val heard himself whisper. “Trist, please.”

The drugs were wearing off. Trist felt himself stir to half hard arousal before softening again and a few moments later repeating the process. “Spirit is willing, flesh isn’t yet.” He sighed. “You’re not going to be able to walk for a week once I can get hard again. I’m going to fuck you so hard, for hours. I’ll take fucking Viagra if I have to. God, Val, there’s so many naughty things I want to do to you.”

The skilled, steady hand tormented his desire, knowing just how and where to touch. In some ways, Trist knew how to please him better than Val’s own hand did. In his ear, echoing across his entire world, was Trist’s voice, teasing, tickling, filling him. Val melted, all will that he had disappeared in the face of Trist’s desire. It wasn’t even really about release, it was the touch, the connection that built to climax that Val was finding himself addicted to.

Until Trist tumbled him over the edge and Val wondered what he’d been thinking. The fall, the release was way better than any building tease. As his body shuddered and stilled and the warmth of being held, of being loved, by someone as amazing and irresistible as Trist filled him, he thought himself a fool again. Nothing, not the teasing build up or the tumbling release, could equal the joy and beauty of the comfortable warmth of afterwards.

They lay snuggled together as Val’s breathing slowed but it wasn’t long until Trist slipped to the kitchen to wash up and return with a damp paper towel. Val still felt too lost in a happy haze to notice or care that Trist was making him presentable again. He yawned. “I haven’t, I mean, twice in a day.”

Trist chuckled. “Well, get used to it, the day’s not over yet.”

That surprised Val and stirred the smallest glimmer of lust in his blood. He shook his head and pulled Trist closer, letting himself go enough to kiss the other man, trying not to think about it too much for fear of losing his nerve.

“Well, now.” Trist sighed.

“I need to call the hospital and check on Gavan and I need to get some of my things from my place. That is, if you want me to stay up here with you?” He suddenly felt very shy.

“Stupid question.” He grinned.